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Engagement party gifts  Actions...
Posted: by MsGinny on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 5:01:37 PM

I have never been to an engagement party. I guess it's a new trend?? Anyway, what does one typically give as a present at one of these things?  The groom has never been married and the bride has been and has two young kids. They have an apt. 

I suppose money never goes out of style, but does anyone have any suggestions?

MsGinny
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takes the place of.......?  Actions...
Posted: by Anne Hathaway on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 5:38:45 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
I am wondering if an engagement party takes the place of the bridal shower?   It is a good question and I am curious what the posters will recommend.    

Anne Hathaway
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ask Martha  Actions...
Posted: by Koda on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 5:48:08 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
http://www.marthastewartweddings.com/230645/etiquette-engagement-parties/@center/272440/wedding-etiquette-adviser#/104967
Attention is the rarest and purest form of generosity. — Simone Weil

Koda
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A card?  Actions...
Posted: by ABmom99 on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:01:27 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
What about a simple 'congrats on engagement' card?  I'm not sure a gift is a requirement to attend any party.  I can see you'll have plenty of gifting occasions for this couple - shower and wedding gifts as well - so I'd say 'nix' on gift at this point - the card & your attending the party are indications of your support and affection.

ABmom99
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It would be my opinion that an engagement party is meant to  Actions...
Posted: by Seriouslyconfused on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:06:16 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
introduce two sides of families and friends to each other.  I thought the party was hosted by the engaged couple or their parents and was just that -- a party or a get together.  I don't think a gift is necessary, especially if you will be going to a shower or the wedding itself but a nice contribution to the party would probably be welcome along with a nice card.  Flowers, a bottle of wine, some little trinket perhaps but nothing more.

 

The retraction of ones statements cannot change the initial impact or intent of words once said.

~Jaded Queen~
Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Seriouslyconfused
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I won't be attending  Actions...
Posted: by MsGinny on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:27:31 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"

any showers or the like due to distance. This one is being arranged by a family member as another event is taking place the same weekend. It will be small, family only sort of thing. We'll go to the wedding when it takes place next year.

I think I'll suggest money.... simple, easy to do, can be used anywhere....

 

MsGinny
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gift for the hosts  Actions...
Posted: by margab on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:34:14 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
I would take a gift for the host/s.    
Interesting, that link says that gifts (for the engaged couple) are not custmary at an engagement party.

 

margab
edited Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 @ 6:36:53 PM by margab
 
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...  Actions...
Posted: by dreamer16 on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:38:54 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
The first one I went to (recently) was three or four years ago, and it was held in a small hall or banquet type of room.  I didn't know what to do either, but after asking around and getting a mixed response, I went with bringing 'something.'  As it turned out, everyone else did the same thing.

In my case the couple had already registered at a number of places so I picked out something small (less pricey) from their tableware and bought that.  But then, I was also going to everything else so I had to draw the line at each of these events. 

If you know where they might be registered, you could always get a small gift card from there, which they could add to others that they might receive later on.  Or, as you say, just give money.  :-)  


"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"  Dr. Seuss

 "Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does."  (unknown)

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."  George S. Patton

The poster formerly known as Writer Mom (stolen from Prince)  

dreamer16
edited Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 @ 6:39:23 PM by dreamer16
 
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This all really begs the question of  Actions...
Posted: by Seriouslyconfused on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 6:57:07 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"

what is the intent (today) of getting married? Is it to garner as many gifts, furnish a house and basically supply everything a couple needs or is it to join with them to celebrate their marriage?  I'd suggest that today, couples get married expecting to get enough in gifts or money gifts to set up their house.  Whatever happened to just having people enjoy the fact that you are getting married?

I also think that if at least one of the two has been previously married, unless it was 25 years ago or something, then at least one of them probably has most of everything that they could want.

Here is my suggestion, gifts for first marriages and showers etc, no gifts for second marriages BUT I'D LIKE TO HAVE a party after 25 or 30 years to replace all my old sheets, towels, utensils, pots, pans etc.  Now that would be a useful time to have an anniversary party where people bring gifts.

I'm just kidding of course, but think about it. . .

 

The retraction of ones statements cannot change the initial impact or intent of words once said.

~Jaded Queen~
Anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

Seriouslyconfused
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I had an engagement party 30+ years ago  Actions...
Posted: by Marsha on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 7:13:58 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
My cousin and his wife threw an engagement party for us and it was just that - a party to celebrate our engagement!  There were no gifts. I never saw the invitations so don't know if there was anything on them to explain that this was just a celebration and no gifts were expected.  Considering how long ago it was, this may have no bearing on how things are done today, where everything's a cash grab, it seems.

Marsha
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49 years ago  Actions...
Posted: by Nanny G on Mon. 25 Jun., 2012 at 8:22:48 PM
In reply to: Marsha "I had an engagement party 30+ years ago"
My mother had an engagement party for us...just the in-laws and out-laws so that everybody could meet. I did the same for my daughter 25 years ago..just family. My son 's mother in law did the same thing for her daughter 20 years ago. Kids, grandkids and grandparents.

Nanny G
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I went to an engagement party 40 years ago  Actions...
Posted: by Mary_in_TO on Tue. 26 Jun., 2012 at 10:05:18 AM
In reply to: Marsha "I had an engagement party 30+ years ago"
and it was just a party for the families to get together, I was one of the bridesmaids, so it was also to get to know the ushers, since it was a huge wedding and some of us did not know everyone in the bridal party. There were no gifts except some of the relatives brought food, I remember it was a warm evening and it was in the back yard of the brides parents.

Mary_in_TO
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That's the only kind I know about too...  Actions...
Posted: by TheCoho on Tue. 26 Jun., 2012 at 10:40:25 AM
In reply to: Marsha "I had an engagement party 30+ years ago"
You have to think about the purpose of the occasion. In the case of an engagement it is an opportunity to celebrate this new step for the couple and congratulate them. No need for a gift. What if they end up NOT getting married?

Bring a gift for the host/hostess who took the trouble to organize it all.

 

Coho salmon are prized for their excellent fighting abilities and acrobatics

TheCoho
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I am just confused  Actions...
Posted: by MsGinny on Tue. 26 Jun., 2012 at 12:36:10 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"

When talking to the mother about it, it seemed to be that a gift was expected. She is giving some small items.... a knife to cut the cake that sort of thing.

Personally, I feel an engagement is a personal thing, between the two people involved. The gift is the ring to the potential bride, so why should the family provide gifts??

Ah well, I'll go enjoy the company.

MsGinny
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From what I can see  Actions...
Posted: by dreamer16 on Tue. 26 Jun., 2012 at 1:04:47 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "I am just confused"
A lovely, age old custom has been now been turned into yet another opportunity for a gift/cash grab.  This is unfortunate IMO.


"Why fit in when you were born to stand out?"  Dr. Seuss

 "Your beliefs don't make you a better person, your behaviour does."  (unknown)

"If everyone is thinking alike, then somebody isn't thinking."  George S. Patton

The poster formerly known as Writer Mom (stolen from Prince)  

dreamer16
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Yup, that does seem to be the case  Actions...
Posted: by Marsha on Tue. 26 Jun., 2012 at 7:40:55 PM
In reply to: dreamer16 "From what I can see"
You're right - it seems like a great way for the families and friends on both sides to meet face to face has been turned into another event requiring gifts, which seems a great shame.

Marsha
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Do they still have trousseau teas?  Actions...
Posted: by tigsw_tigsw on Fri. 29 Jun., 2012 at 1:19:23 PM
In reply to: dreamer16 "From what I can see"
.................................

        

               MUSKOKA IS THE NAME NOT THE MUSKOKAS

                                                  see facebook page 

If everyone walked on the right hand side when in a crowd you would not bump into each other.                               

                                         

                    

 █ ♥ █ C a n a d a

                                          

tigsw_tigsw
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I would take a bottle of wine  Actions...
Posted: by tigsw_tigsw on Fri. 29 Jun., 2012 at 1:20:33 PM
In reply to: MsGinny "Engagement party gifts"
or something along that line.

        

               MUSKOKA IS THE NAME NOT THE MUSKOKAS

                                                  see facebook page 

If everyone walked on the right hand side when in a crowd you would not bump into each other.                               

                                         

                    

 █ ♥ █ C a n a d a

                                          

tigsw_tigsw
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