If it was only that easy.

After he left I was approached by many people he confided in.  They told me that he was talking to an old g/f that lived overseas, she was leaving her husband moving back home.  When I contacted him about that he still denied that there was anyone else.  Two days ago I found out that yes he is seeing that old g/f he found on Facebook.  This was the love of his live, the one that got away 21 years ago. Why couldn't he be just honest with me instead of telling me we just drifted apart. I knew there was other reasons. He was a needy man and needy people don't move on unless there is something to go to.    I found out why now.  From what I've been told they are keeping it quiet.  Why?  who knows.  She's supposed to be separated from her husband.  Maybe she's not.  All I know is that they have been talking for over a year after meeting on Facebook.  She moved back to Canada last summer.  He moved out of my house to his parents which is close to where she lives now.  !@#% Facebook.  I'm sure its broken up more families than brought single people together.  

I still feel hurt and angry and I've been trying really hard not to let it consume me but its hard.  The hurt and anger is not from him leaving me but how he did it. How he wasn't honest with me.  What is the big secret?.  I'm better off really because financially he lived off of me as his home business made no money and now he's got her to live off of if they live together.  She will have a rude awakening.  

But since then I've been trying to keep myself busy.  I've lost almost 20 lbs so I've been buying new clothes and getting my hair done.  It was nice to overhear my daughter tell her brother that it was nice to see me doing things to make myself look good .  So that part is positive..

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I honestly think that facebook is such a negative tool in so many ways. It makes it really hard to make a clean break with someone when we really should be moving on from them.  I imagine it is very difficult to avoid checking out an "ex" on facebook long past the time when this sort of thing would have been "normal" in the past, if you know what I mean.  It's like picking at a wound that then can't heal. It honestly sounds like ending the relationship has been a good thing for you too - the changes in your life seem to be positive ones. So however that came about, it has been the right thing for you. It's sad that learning what you have has dredged up hurt and anger.  Sometimes, "ignorance is bliss". Try to get a handle on your feelings and turn them around and see the positive turn your own life has taken because it really does sound like you shed more than the 20 pounds...you shed a relationship that wasn't really fulfilling for you.  Face 2013 as a new and wonderful start!  All the best to you.